Of Muffins and Surprises
by Blanc Expression
Summary: Of Muffins and Surprises – With Kurt, everything is a surprise.  But Kitty is about to receive the biggest surprise yet… One-shot, Kurtty all the way.  WARNING:  ENOUGH FLUFF TO CHOKE AN ELEPHANT.  OR SIX.


_**Of Muffins and Surprises – With Kurt, everything is a surprise. But Kitty is about to receive the biggest surprise yet… One-shot, Kurtty all the way.**_

**Well, I felt extremely bad for writing up such a depressing little fic concerning this two…So I now present thee with 115% of fluff, to a great risk in my health. **

**Enjoy! I do not own anything except the idea.**

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"You want to teach me _what_?" Kitty exclaimed.

Kurt blinked slowly, the closest to an eye-roll he could get to with his eyes fully gold now. "I am going to teach you how to bake muffins," he said slowly, making it clear that he wasn't proposing something suggestive.

She huffed, slightly hurt. "Are they really _that_ bad?" she whimpered, not believing her ears.

Kurt folded his blue arms across his chest. "I vould never lie to you, _Katze_," he informed his girlfriend, "however, Rachel's birthday is coming up, and I do not vant Scott or Jean to murder us in our sleep for poisoning their daughter."

"A simple 'yes' would have sufficed," Kitty replied haughtily, chewing on her bottom lip. She knew that everyone would rather jump off a cliff than eat a batch of muffins she made (Rogue in fact personally told her this quite stoutly a few years ago), but she hadn't realized that everyone loathed them to such a horrid extent.* "Now what, you're going to tell me my driving sucks?"

"Um…"

"Ugh!" Kitty stomped her foot on the ground. "Like, never mind then." She flounced out of his room angrily.

He cringed weakly at her. "So… meet you in the kitchen?"

"Yes," growled Kitty, not looking back. "And you won't be sorry, Kurt Wagner." Kurt couldn't help but smile.

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"Okay, so now what?" Kitty asked, holding up a wooden spoon like a weapon, a fearsome scowl on her face. Kurt glanced at the bowl on the table, losing hope. It had taken him a full five minutes to explain the purpose of flour; however the hell he managed to do that.

"Ve crack three eggs," he replied, "and drop in the egg vhites."

"Oh, that's easy," Kitty grinned, grabbing an egg from the carton. She tapped it eagerly against the rim of the bowl, cracking the egg.

Then she dropped the whole egg into the batter.

It took Kurt a few seconds to find his voice. "_Katzchen_," he began gently, "what are you doing?"

Kitty beamed at him. "Spooning out the insides, duh," she said brightly, carefully dipping her spoon into the batter.

Reacting quickly, Kurt grabbed her wrist as if he was preventing a world crisis. "Kitty, you do realize…"

"What?"

"Egg whites are the insides."

Kitty's mouth formed a perfect O-shape. "What?" she repeated, this time in bemusement.

"_Ja_," Kurt managed, trying not to burst into laughter. She dropped her spoon.

"Omigosh," she gasped, "So, like, for my whole life, I thought egg whites were the shells! The shells are white, you know? Oh, God…" She looked so mortified that Kurt leaned over and kissed her nose, reassuring Kitty that anybody could have made the same mistake and he always thought her extra-crunchy muffins were excellent until she smiled.

"Anyvays, let's just take out the shells," Kurt nodded. "At least we don't need to mix a new batter."

Little did he know, they would end up with seven and a half.

To spare the grisly details of The Muffin Fiasco of the Year, in short the kitchen looked somewhat like the Weapon X base after Wolverine trashed it. Globs of batter strewn the entire surface of the kitchen, not sparing an inch as if a food fight had erupted not too long ago- which was actually the fate of Batter Number 5. Littered around Kurt and Kitty were the remnants of several failures of all sizes and shapes, ranging from oozing mush to heavily burnt pieces.

However, Kurt and Kitty were not paying attention the chaotic mess.

"Oh. My. God," Kitty breathed for the hundredth time, looking positively amazed. In front of them was the sole survivor of all the batters, a single, slightly lopsided muffin. Was it possible that she, Kitty Anne Pryde, had actually made something edible?

Kurt rubbed his brow, streaking it with a smear of sludge. "Ve did it," he rasped, quite relieved. His goal was almost accomplished. At least Kitty knew how to bake muffins now. Well, barely.

"I can't believe it!" She gasped, and suddenly spun around to hug him tightly. It was also rather sticky. "I've never made a muffin this good! It's perfect."

"Nein, there's still vun more thing to add," he reminded her, heart racing. She looked up, blinking. "Ve forgot to add the topping."

She groaned, and then slapped her hand on her forehead. "I forgot the sprinkles," Kitty lamented. "I knew something was after the frosting…"

Kurt took a deep breath. "No worries," he said softly, pulling away. "I improvised." Before she could question him, he grabbed the muffin and reached into his pocket. Finding the familiar cool band, he carefully pushed the ring unto the top of the muffin with trembling hands. Kitty could only stare, her eyes wide with shock as Kurt bended down on one knee. She didn't even laugh as his knee made contact with a pile of batter, emitting a squishy and pathetic sound as he nearly slipped. Kitty could only gaze at the silver little thing on the muffin, sparkling in the dim light…

Kurt cringed. Smooth, he thought miserably. It wasn't very romantic proposing to your girlfriend in a puddle of batter (seriously, what was he thinking?), but…

"Kitty," Kurt finally said, his voice hopefully and a little bashful, "vill you marry me?"

A full second passed before Kitty found her voice. "Kurt… you… you forced me into both physical and mental torture just so you can _propose to me with a muffin_?"

Kurt groaned. "Come on, Kitty," he said desperately, "I'm not getting any younger kneeling in muffin batter. Just say yes or no."

Despite of his pained expression, Kitty had to giggle. "What if I said I had to think about it?" she teased. The look on his face was priceless, and she had to laugh again. "Oh, Kurt…" she managed after she gained control, "of course. _Yes_."

Kurt grinned, a feeling of happiness swelling up inside of him at her words. Standing up clumsily, he pulled her closer and smiled down at Kitty. He didn't say anything as she leaned forward, hoping that everything he meant all those years were put into the muffin as he slid the sparkling ring on her finger.

"So…. Eat the muffin first, or go with the cliché and kiss?" Kitty asked slyly, her hands on his shoulders.

"Let's go with cliché," Kurt replied, tilting his head.

So they did…. poison Rachel Summers in the end.

Erm, no… they kissed. Yeah.

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***- ORLLY KITTY. **

**YAY FOR HUMOUR FAIL! ^^**

**By the way, Rachel Summers is the daughter of Jean and Scott in the comics from an alternative universe. To say the least, I am not fond of her (*hides mace*). I just took her name, but otherwise the Rachel in this story is completely different. :) Now, excuse me, I must go pretend I never wrote enough fluff to fill a twenty foot tall teddy bear. *gag* **


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